I have a theory. Writing, as you’ve probably noticed, entails feeling. And when we avoid writing, when we procrastinate by reorganizing the fridge or (more likely) scrolling through Facebook, it’s because we’re afraid to feel. We’re afraid because we worry that accessing our emotions will make us lose control, will loosen our grip on all of the things we’re barely managing as it is: our careers, our relationships, perhaps even our diets or our substance use or our sanity.Read More
If you ever procrastinate, experience anxiety, or slip into negativity because you get lost in thought, this post is for you.
I cried during acupuncture today.
“Mind if I stick some needles in your stomach?” the acupuncturist asked at the beginning of my treatment, and of course I said yes, because when do I say no to anyone?
But as I sat alone, trying to enjoy the soothing music, trying to regain the peace and tranquility I felt during my first session last week, my thoughts took over. And my thoughts weren’t pretty: punctured organs, internal bleeding, infection.
I lifted the blanket and studied the steel needles. At the base of each needle, my skin puckered into a divot, which couldn’t be normal, could it? I nearly fished my phone out of my purse and googled how to tell if your liver is punctured.
It sounds funny, doesn’t it? But it wasn’t. I called out for the acupuncturist.Read More
This post features a Q&A with one of my favorite yoga teachers, Donna Amrita Davidge.
I love a vigorous yoga practice as much as anyone on this green earth. For years I believed I'd never be fit or athletic or strong, so discovering that I can hold a handstand for two seconds has been a revelation.
After all, two seconds feels like a long time when you’re upside down.
Five days a week, I practice yoga at my gym, where the classes are sweaty and challenging and packed with conspicuously beautiful people. (Seriously, where do these people come from? They make suburban New Jersey look like a music video.) Together, the beautiful people and I power our way through a million chaturangas and some til-death-do-us-part forearm planks, pouring sweat onto the hardwood floor.
After a particularly challenging class, as I weave my way through the gym's main level—past the giant TVs playing infomericals, past the gazelle-like women on the elliptical machines and the beautiful, intense souls who are bracing themselves to lift a giant barbell yet again—I congratulate myself for having survived.
Some days, though, I need a yoga practice that soothes my soul. I need something more spiritual, more meditative. That's where kundalini yoga comes in.Read More
I have an alter ego. An evil twin. A persona I slip into—sometimes without even realizing it.
Let’s call this persona Lauren. Lauren tends to take over in social situations where I’m keen to impress people or make them like me. (In other words, pretty much all social situations.)
Lauren is brighter than I am, sparklier. She laughs at your jokes, or when you say something mildly (or wildly) inappropriate. If the conversation lulls, she launches into one self-deprecating story about herself after another. She’d rather share painful personal details than face a moment or two of awkward silence. If you’re a single man, she might find excuses to brush your arm or shoulder with her fingertips.
Lauren doesn’t disagree with you, ever. Her cheeks cramp from smiling so damn much.
For years, Lauren came out whenever I went to a party, or clomped on my black heels into a job interview, or even tried to make conversation with the yoga teacher whose class I took every Sunday...Read More